Can You Grieve the End of a Situationship? Yes! Here's Why (And Taylor Swift Songs to Help You Through It)

divorce/breakups Apr 28, 2024
Can You Grieve the End of a Situationship? Yes! Here's Why (And Taylor Swift Songs to Help You Through It)

Situationships - those ambiguous, undefined entanglements that are more than a fling but don’t have the defining boundaries of an official relationship. They're full of intense feelings and blind hope that it could possibly turn into something more. But what happens when they end? Can you really grieve something that was never officially a thing? The answer:  yes, for sure. And here's why.

Your brain doesn't care about labels. Even if you were in a casual situation, you still got emotionally invested and attached to that person being present in your life. When that familiar dynamic and imagined future abruptly ends, you'll feel that loss profoundly. That’s grief.

Sure, you might think you have no "right" to feel grief when something so undefined ends. But your emotions are valid simply because they’re there.

It's common to second-guess if your partner was ever truly invested, or maybe you feel guilty for continuing on in something you viewed  as “wrong.” But don't minimize your feelings over a situationship's end. You're far from alone in needing to process that heartbreak, no matter how ambiguous the romance was.

Now, as you're grieving the end of your situationship, you might need some music to help you through it. Luckily, Taylor Swift's songs just...get it. Her latest album, "The Tortured Poets Department," explores situationship grief in a way that makes so many of us feel incredibly seen. In this anthology, she gives space for situationship grief in a way that validates its significance.

To name a few key songs focusing on situationship grief:

  • On "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived," Taylor laments a situationship's unfulfilling conclusion, questioning if her partner was ever truly invested. 

  • "Guilty as Sin?" captures the internal conflict of pursuing a situationship despite viewing it as wrong. 

  • And "Fresh Out the Slammer" sees her emerging from a long-term relationship only to run back to the comfort of a situationship.

So, as you navigate the complex emotions of situationship grief, remember:

  1. Give your grief some space - scream, cry at the gym, get sweaty on a rage run,  whatever feels cathartic.

  2. Create your own closure - write an unsent letter, burn a symbolic object, or declare it out loud.

  3. Resist reaching out to your ex-situationship, even at 2AM. Seriously, don’t do it.

  4. Give yourself grace - even if you feel shame about getting invested in the first place.

  5. Rediscover your spark - refocus your energy on hobbies, friends, and anything that reignites your independence and joy.

And when you need to feel understood, turn on some Taylor Swift, and connect with your friends at Grieve Leave,  and remember that you're not alone in grieving the end of a situationship.

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