From Intern Cassidie's Desk: Honoring My Dad's Sense of Adventure on Father's Day

This Father’s Day will be the third one since I lost my dad. 

My dad, John, suddenly passed away in 2022- forever changing my world and eventually catalyzing my interest in grief work. 

As an only child, and my dad not being married at the time he passed, meant that I was the sole executor for his estate. Doing this largely by myself, at a young age without any prior exposure to the tasks that are required of executors, was simultaneously so challenging yet empowering.

In the years since losing my dad, I’ve seen how the grief journey morphs and transforms, yet never fully dissipates. Grief is ever present; I think we just learn how to better navigate holding this emotion and experience as we move through life. 

Regardless of where any of us are at with the grief journey, the holidays and anniversaries tied to the person we’ve lost, can be extremely challenging. Father’s Day can be an especially tough one for those of us without our dads still physically here. 

Each Father’s Day since my dad’s passing has looked different; the first year I spent the day with my dad’s best friend and his family, who I’ve always considered to be my aunt and uncle. Last year, I had just moved across the country to a brand new state where I didn’t know anybody, and I celebrated Father’s Day solo by going out for my dad‘s favorite meal which we would’ve gotten together if he had been here. 

This year, I will be on an international flight for most of Father’s Day, traveling to my study abroad program. 

Although I would give anything to celebrate Father’s Day in person with my dad, in his absence, traveling feels like the best way to honor him. 

My dad lived overseas for many years of his life; living in Asia and the Middle East and traveling extensively throughout Europe and Africa. Travel was one of my dad‘s favorite things - his love for travel definitely rubbed off on me and was one of our greatest shared interests. I always strive to have my next trip planned and I’m working towards my goal currently of seeing each state, every continent, and all 63 National Parks. 

The last time I actually saw my dad, we took a trip together right before Father’s Day weekend. We attended a family reunion on the coast of Washington state together and had so much fun on this week-long road trip. My dad and I traveled extremely well together. - both enjoying the serendipity and adventure of seeing new places and listening to so much great music the whole way. 

When I was writing the eulogy for my dad's celebration of life, I remember reminiscing on how special our trips together were and ultimately, sharing at the service, that one of the main ways I planned to keep my dad’s spirit alive was through travel and always maintaining a sense of adventure. 

For those of us who are missing our dads on Father's Day, I think one of the most poignant things we can do is reflect on what it is that we loved to do with our dads and find a way to incorporate that into our lives around this holiday. For me, that’s travel, and it felt like such a beautiful synchronicity when I realized my departure date for study abroad would be on Father’s Day. 

With that being said, I also want to acknowledge that it can be a numbing day and hard to know what to do on a day where emotions can be so heavy. Taking a moment to pause and reflect on Father’s Day; whether that’s through prayer, taking a walk, looking at photos, spending time with family, or anything in between. Regardless of the actual activities we do on Father’s Day, I truly believe that all of our dads would want us to remember the good moments we shared with them. 

I’m grateful that this year on Father’s Day, I’ll be spending the day doing something that I know my dad loved to do and that he would be delighted that I am doing. For all of those who are missing their dads on Father’s Day, I want you to know that you’re not alone, your dad’s spirit is always with you, and you have a community here of those who can resonate with your experience.