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Caregiver Grief and Anticipatory Loss with Chris Punsalan

"We only have so much battery in a day... you owe it to those people and the work that you do to take care of yourself."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Chris Punsalan, the content creator known to millions as "the grandma guy." Chris shares his journey of caring for his beloved Apu for eight years, documenting their daily life through viral videos that resonated with caregivers worldwide. When Apu passed away in January 2024 at age 97, Chris faced a profound identity shift from caregiver to former caregiver.

Chris opens up about the stereotypes he encountered as a young man in a caregiving role, something he didn't even realize was uncommon until people started reaching out online. The conversation explores anticipatory grief - that confusing experience of grieving someone before they die, and the guilt that can follow when relief comes instead of expected sadness.

From Montreal (Rebecca's mom's hometown, and where Rebeccaā€™s brother took care of their nana for 7 years), they discuss the beauty of intergenerational households and how caregiving forced Chris to develop healthy habits and self-care routines. Chris shares his "gratitude hack" - imagining life without the people you love to appreciate what you have right now. He talks about his grandmother's wisdom around saving money, caring for family, and the simple joy she found in watching The Price is Right and being surrounded by loved ones.

The episode tackles the delicate balance of maintaining your own identity while caregiving, and how Chris stayed grounded through music production during those eight years. He emphasizes that taking care of yourself isn't selfish: it's essential for showing up fully for the people you love.

Join Rebecca and Chris as they explore the realities of young caregiving, processing grief in public, and finding meaning after profound loss - because as Chris reminds us, you can't pour from an empty cup.

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