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Grief is a Language with John Onwuchekwa

 

"Grief is not a journey. It is a language. The goal is not finishing. It's becoming fluent."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with John Onwuchekwa, one of the most prominent voices in the grief space and creator of the We Go On Tour. John shares his journey from a child with a severe stutter to a pastor, author, and grief advocate whose work has touched millions.

After losing his brother Sam in 2015 at just 32 years old, John discovered that the most spiritual thing he could do wasn't to help others put their lives together, it was to let his own fall apart. His friends confronted him with words that changed everything: "You trying to help people put their lives back together is a type of anesthesia that has numbed your heart to the fact that yours is falling apart." That confrontation in March 2016 profoundly changed his life and set him on a new path.

John opens up about turning 40 and receiving unexpected diagnoses, Hashimoto's thyroid disease, and ADHD. He shares how these health challenges became another form of grief to process, even as they led to feeling better than ever at 41.

Rebecca and John explore why grief isn't a tunnel with light at the end, but rather a cave we must sit in together. John challenges the harmful metaphor of grief as a journey with a finish line, offering instead the idea that grief is a language we must learn to speak fluently.

Join Rebecca and John as they discuss why cemeteries are actually gardens, how grief births the most incredible friendships, and why approaching grief like a sculptor approaching a rock, rather than a passerby trying to get around it, allows us to chip away and uncover something beautiful inside.

Connect with John:

  • Subscribe to his Substack: JohnO.blog
  • Instagram: @jawn_o
  • Upcoming: We Go On Tour returns Spring 2026

Book: Grief is a Language: Finding the Right Words When There Are None (coming soon)

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